A narcissist, by definition, is somebody who is self-obsessed and behaves as if the world revolves around them. In relationships, they are often controlling, manipulative, and sometimes even abusive. Many times narcissists have very specific ideas of how the people in their life show up “for them” and try to control those around them to behave in this way, often times setting unreasonable standards, praising you when you meet their expectations, and savagely knocking you down when you don’t. Many victims of narcissists find themselves “walking on eggshells”, trying to anticipate what the narcissist may want and trying to fulfill their needs and desires.
They employ behaviors such as “gaslighting”, making you doubt your sanity and even your reality. They shift and project their own insecurities and inferiorities onto the people closest to them, whether they are a partner, parent, friend or coworker. Many people who are able to leave narcissistic relationships find that they have to deal with a lot of emotional fallout. They may have tied their very personality and likes/dislikes to cater to the narcissist, and without the relationship they feel lost, without a center or identity. They may doubt their perceptions and concepts of reality, since narcissists often make us question what is real and what is not.
Many empathic or highly sensitive people find themselves at some point in their lives in some type of personal relationship with a narcissist. Often times this is born from a desire to help other people, and this constant stream of care and emotional attention feed directly into a narcissistic ego, creating an endless cycle to the victim/narcissist relationship. The narcissist gets to feel admired and gets attention, and the victim gets to feel needed and appreciated, and feel like they are “helping” the narcissist.
Their forms of manipulation involve the blame game, they must win and you must lose so everything is your fault. They use verbal bullying, stonewalling, the silent game or "cold shoulder" or they become emotionally detached. They lack empathy, not being able to put themselves in another person's shoes to understand how they think or feel. They use gaslighting, blatant lying, denying what you heard to try and confuse you, rejection, ignoring, use criticism, judging and projecting their stuff onto you. They create love triangles, pitting two people against you especially in marriages, with your children, using them as pawns to try and get under your skin and or cause major relationship issues, NOT COOL! And they keep family secrets and turn other family members against you. The truth will eventually come out.
These patterns begin long before we began this lifetime. Whether your narcissistic relationship pattern is a current reality or something you have moved past, it’s time to get to the core of what creates these unhealthy and damaging entanglements. Join me in my upcoming paint workshop on how to spot a narcissist and set yourself free as we go deep in unravelling these toxic bonds and get liberated from the cycle of victimhood! Workshop to be announced in September 2020.
If you are a highly sensitive Empath, here to do great things, here to make a positive change in the world and here to bring heaven on earth, then join my private facebook group PAINT YOUR SOUL WITH ANGELA and lets do this together!